Link al video

https://youtu.be/naiNjCEo5QU

My Own Show.

Today I finished the show which inspired me to start this blog. As I've watched it some time after the season finale was broadcast, I'm not very shore whether it will continue or not, though I'd love it to. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is right now I'm feeling that emptiness from the farewell. In some way, it's waving goodbye to all those characters you've travelled with and try to remember the best moments. At least three days are needed until I can move on and watch another show. Some people can't understand the fact that I feel the urge of reviving some kisses, some arguments... whatever that really made me love it. With some shows or films, I can't help myself but to watch then from the very beginning.

Despite momentarily hating Jenna for messing things up that much or not being able to admit her true feelings, I adored it. I wish I had a guy as Matty in my life-a friend who is always loyal, someone who loves you, someone you can and want to share every moment of your life with. But there's this episode -SPOILER ALERT- when he goes to prom and exceeds Jenna's senior's prom dreams when he tells her he's still in love with him. The fact they always went back together made my faith rise.

This morning I saw John again. And yes, I secretly hoped a declaration of love just as Matty's. However, the show I had made up in my mind didn't come true, duh. But who knows, maybe someday it will. Maybe I'll have my own real show, where I could have the leading rol. And maybe I have to stop expecting everything to come to me. Maybe I have to take the bull by the horns and make the first move. 

Maybe is just maybe.

-Anonymous.

Uncertain, lost and afraid.

As I told you in my first entry, I've lately been thinking of being a doctor. My studies are really focused on the scientific branch and it's the profession I see myself better, because I'm  afraid I might not be very useful at a lab.

However, I've always dreamt of being a writer. Maybe I don't have the most original ideas ever, and yes, every timeI write something I end up deleting it because I'm not very confident of my skills. Nevertheless, publishing my own novel would be incredible and really fulfilling.

Truth is, I first started this blog not only because I want to share my opinion in some things and improve my typing and my English, but also because I wanted to start some project that would allow me to write and, little by little, encourage me to write something else, such as short stories or, as said before, my own book.The idea came out of "Awkward", the MTV show I'm currently watching-which, despite not being the best show ever, it has me addicted to it.

But, if I'm really honest with you, my real real dream-which I don't think it will ever come true- is to be a singer.When I was a little girl I would love playing music while singing and dancing in front of my family. And even now that I am a rather shy teenager I adore singing in the shower, or anytime, reallyThe problem is I can't picture myself singing in front of big crowds- my voice is not that great neither special and I don't know anything about music. Still, being a quite popular singer is what I see whenever I listen to music.

What if I'm not good enough? As I've always had excellent marks -not trying to brag, it's the truth- everyone has always told me I'd become a very successful person one day. Nevertheless, I fear I might not be as intelligent everyone thinks I am and I might disappoint them at some point of my life. Seeing myself doing something complicated and very important for our society it's not something easy for me. I guess time will tell me whether I'm right or wrong. In the meantime, I'll try my best to get the best results I can and improve not only academically but personally too.

-Anonymous.

Wishes and Gods.

So... last night was the shortest night of the year. Where I live, it's celebrated  with fireworks and bonfires. One not so well known tradition is to write down a wish on a paper and burn it. 

I'm still not very sure about wishes. I think our destiny is a combination of choices and coincidences, rather that being only controlled by fate. And I'm certainly not the only one who agrees with that statement. Still, why do people believe in those old traditions?

Maybe it's just a way to keep the weight of our bad or even nonexistent choices off our shoulders. Or it might be a way of really trying to trust an external power font, like religion. Some people only wish to know there's something protecting us, something else after death. Because they're afraid. However, religion has always controlled believers with fear. And with cruelty.

That's why I am an atheist. If any kind of God really existed, then I'd like to meet them and ask them a couple of questions. I just don't get the control they pretend to have among people. And although I live in a lay country, you can still get very cruel looks from the most devoted. 

Maybe this is not the best argued text, but it's a brief way to tell you my opinion on such a polemic topic. All  my support to those whose beloved people has died from a terrorist attack. Let's hope someday things change and religion -or any other one- is not a reason behind war and death anymore. 

-Anonymous.

Welcome to my life.

So... Let me introduce myself.

First things first, don't expect me to tell you my name- at least not for now. It's not that I think someone will actually read all my shit, but in case that happens, I want to be safe.  

Okay... I'm just a teenager who feels a little lost in this world. Actually, pretty much every single teenager feels lonely and disoriented, in one way or another. Lately, everything has been really messed up. Not that my life sucks or that I have this huge problem which doesn't let me sleep. There's not that much drama. It could be said that things are quite normal, but lately I've been feeling like something has changed.

I have three best friends. Two of them are quite silly girls that happen to be the only ones that are always there by my side, though they're not the support you'd imagine you'd receive from your best friends. I mean, I like them -otherwise I wouldn't hang out with them- but it's like they don't see thingsthe way I do. Despite I usually have a hard time everytime I try to talk about what's going on in my mind, sometimes I would like to be able to have deeper conversations with them. Let's be real- hearing one of them (let's call her Kate) whine about how out of her league her admirers are is not very trascedental, though that's what we do all day long. The other girl (here known as Rose) is just a very shy one who's always hiding what she thinks. I guess she must have something interesting to say, or maybe she's as empty inside as she looks.  But if the first case is the case, I don't think she's ever going to tell.

On the other hand, we have what I could regard as my real best friend. I'll call him Will because of a John Green charachter that reminds me a lot of him. He's the typical gay-best friend, except he isn't gay. He likes acting, Lady Gaga and Eurovision. He's also the class' president and loves being in the spotlight, even though he's had some trouble with our classmates. With him, I feel a little bit more relieved. I can tell him whatever I need to tell and, although truth hurts, he is able to put things back into perspective when necessary. 

Last but not least, I'd also like to introduce you to John, because John is the closest translation of his real name I've been able to find. He is my crush. Sometimes I feel I mix up friendship with something more, but I came to the conclusion I want to be more than a friend to him. But it is complicated. And yes, I've just written another cliché. But it is really complicated. While some days he seems to reject my company, some others he seems to give me signals that I like him. First he looks into my eyes and we both grin, then he doesn't reply my messages.We've sat together for almost 3 years in class, and throughout this time I've been albe to get to know him. And for almost as long I've fancied him. Lame, isn't it?

And what about me? Well, I am a writer, reader, singer and painter amateur. I don't have a fucking clue of what I want to do with my life, neither who I want to be. Right now, the idea of being a doctor has really caught my eye, but I'm not so sure I can do it. I get really stressed when I think of my future- it seems like everyone wants us to start making decisions I'm definately not ready to make. Why can't they see that? 

Well, I guess that's all for today. I'll keep on writing tomorrw.

-Anonymous.